Prog. 1: The Archives of Phryne (21:35) 2: Who's Who <bonus> (animation for) Roberta Tovey's 'Who's (Doctor) Who' (2:44) Prog. 2 review: "Was Who?" ("everything old is old again") Mercifully brief, Stuart's second foray into preserving those embarrassing 60s kidsongz, 'Who's Who' is as lightly animated as his hilarious version of the classic "I'm Gonna Spend My Xmas Money On A Dalek", but lacks the Wit & Daleks! The song itself is funny(for-all-the-wrong-reasons)enough I spose. We do get to see Cushing & Hartnell "face-off"' (although they don't do the "Bowlingball-Bounce" the way that Mars & Venus do!) and this of course reveals the true meaning of the song (Yes - there Is one!). Depending on Who(sorry) you ask, both The Daleks and Doctor Who are defined by whether one was a TvSeries-fan or a DalekMovies-fan. So whilst we don't get to see Peter Cushing & William Hartnell "canon" off each other, there's still the question of Whos... In summary, Cushing's from Mars, Tovey's from Venus and Dr.Who's from Gallifrey, but this song's from Uranus! Prog. 1 review: "The Archivistrons of Phunny" Opening with a reprise of the Golden(Award)Emperor's hit comedy-speech* from the end of 'Eve Of The Tour': >>PRE.PARE.FOR..GAL.AC.TIC..TOUR...<< – this ep quickly launches in to original-script'authentic' dialogue up to the end of page 1 (thence the famous AV-DCsTheme) – save for some cheeky ad-libbing of >>PRE.PARE.TO..AT.TACK!!<< by Black Dalek (and his sychophantic chorus chanting >>AT.TACK..AT.TACK!!<<) just to beef(or-ham)up the Cliffhanger. [* anyone who doesn't get the oh-so sophisticated joke about "Searching the Skies for the (comic)Inventions of Other Races" just isn't a Dalek ] Meanwhile, halfway up a Cliff, we see the OfficeBox of the Phunnyones 'BookingComptroller', who, eager not to be upstaged by the Daleks, does a bit of ad-libbing of his own when ApprenticeComic "Naf" rushes onstage with exciting news. The Daleks have sent Galactic-TalentScouts out to canvass the "12 Skies"* for vital data on comedy for to repair their tragic loss of a Sense-of-Humour. [* known-worlds, stellar-divisions or planetary-regions not specified, but, being a comedy-routine, inevitably has something to do with 'pi' ] Despite the fact that many SentientSpecies find Dalex hilarious (until they actually Meet some) the 'Dullhicks' just don't get the joke (nor do they understand why we find Toy Daleks "cute"). They have discovered that the Planet Phunny is a repertoirepository of the Comic traditions of "over a hundred planets" and serves to provide the Official Panels Of Judges for ComedyFestivals all over the 'Infotainment Universe'. Despite being "mooned" by Phunny's only visible satellite, the Daleks interpret this classic humanoid joke as a feeble attempt to hide their planet ( the physics-ignoring likes of which would not be seen again until Gorge Lucasaide's 'Raw Rats 3 : Spite Of The Sis’ – see also ‘…2 : Bout Of The Clowns’ & ‘…1 : The Puny Menace' ). Stuart kindly gives "young Naf" and the 'Comptroller' some more further extra dialogue to help round out the scene and to set up the next one they will appear in (listening in on the Dalek gag-writing team working on their script: >>OH.WE'LL.KILL.'EM..WIV.DIS.ONE..EH?...YOU!..THAT.DA.LEK.THERE..STOP.GIG.GLE.ING..AND.RE.PORT..ON.WHE.THER.OR.NOT.. THIS.SKIT.IS..FUN.NY!!<< 'Search-Me'Leader reports on (laughter)"frequency9087D.A.C."(DalekAudioComedy) as instructed, but the Phunnyones are still listening-in and order out a squad of Theatrical Agents to "Deal" with the Daleks and corner them in an Advantageous Contract. Meanwhile, the Dalek Cast determinedly continue ad-libbing* in the background just to prove that their Stage-Presence is just as annoying (and funny) Stage-off as on. [* to the effect {with Dalekomedy-translations}: >>ONCE {(solar)BOOKING} SYSTEM IS REVEALED WE WILL {(attack)AUDITION}, {(enslave)PERFORM} AND RETURN WITH ALL THE {(weapons-technology)COMIC-TECHNIQUES} THAT WE CAN FIND... WE WILL BE {(victorious)HILARIOUS}!<< ] The Phunnyone Theatrical Agents launch their 'BookingOpportunity-InterceptorSquadron' (distastefully located beneath a TVC21-copyright* ceremonial Phunny Gazing Pond**) with the unforgettable parting-shot of: "Squadron blowing-off for interdiction of 'Loony-Tuners'!". Their SkyRay!(Lollypop-Red)Rocketships shine tastily in the smug, bluesky-atmosphere of the BookingOffice screening-room. [* now we know what planet Gerry Anderson came from! ] [** not for looking at things Under the water, but for preening themselves in the Reflection from its mirroring surface, plus the inevitable humorous distortions caused by gentle wave-action ] The Daleks have, as usual, Calculated/Plotted/Schemed a Plan (and concomitant Device) for making themselves the Galactic'LaughingStock'* [* Daleks still haven't quite gotten the hang of Theatrical Terminology! ] They've invented a Vibration Machine ('Vibratron') for tickling audiences' FunnyBones on a Planetary scale. Unfortunately, Daleks don't have 'funnybones' so their calibrations are off the scale. Nonetheless all the Phunny InterceptSquadron's Agents 'get it' – save one who goes under the gag entirely. It is his review of the 'Dalek Comicals' that causes their Show to 'crash&burn' and crushes the Daleks left out in the cold. The ones safely on board the Dalek-Bandwagon bravely Soldier-on, with only Naf spoiling the moment by adding the corny old line: "Then let us hope he did not die in vain". However, news arrives that the 'Bandwagon Of Tha Daalex' has had a breakthrough with the hiring of Phunny's own 'Invisibility Band' (trading on their Silent Hit "No Hear This"). The Phunnyone BookingOffice-Comptroller orders the activation of the "Acting Rays" in the hope of improving the Daleks' performance before the unreasonably high standards of the Phunny audience. He goes on (and on) the Public Screens to alert the population to the need to Surrender to the Dalekshow and not to Resist the Dalex attempt to Win them over. Typical of Phunny humour he warns them of danger "in the sky above us" and then goes on to say "go about normally" and "do not panic" (by which time he's been drowned out by the screams & clamour of the rioting populace). The Comptroller leaves them with another typical Phunny statement: "My face is with you" and leaves the Screens on "still-frame". Showing themselves to be fast-pacers through the Theatrical-LearningCurve, the Dalex inject more dialogue of their own into the scene (about how "cleverer still" they are – and even "brillianter moving" i presume) and then proceed to eschew acting-lessons (>>DA.LEKS.ARE..HOT.E.NOUGH..ALL.READY!<<) and counter the 'Acting Rays' with SkyRay'GammaBeta'{Lime-Blueberry}Ice-lollies. The Comptroller claims he is not "hurt" by this, but the true bitterness of his feelings is revealed when he glumly admits that "we can't stop them winning now!" To the hysterical screams of Phunny-DalekFans the Dalek-Bandwagon lands amidst Phunny Security to prevent them being mobbed by PlungerGraph-hunters and rogue-BookingAgents. Meanwhile Naf & the Comptroller are making a feast of it up in the OfficeBox. Presumably a backwash from the Acting Rays has sent them into Thespic-Overdrive as they volubly bemoan their fate until Naf has the bright idea of using the Revolving Atrium to turn the tables on the Daleks' act. But the sudden appearance of the Dalek-StageManager throws the Comptroller off his mark sufficiently to have him fumble his lines, ending-up lamely with: "Uh, how did you get up here?" Ignoring the implied 'handicap-prejudice' of this remark and not falling for his ploy* the Dalek orders him to disqualify the other Contestants. [ * and wasting time with responses like: >>I started as a Stagehand{plunger} and worked my ticket up to Prompt, then to Head of the Props Department, from where I stabbed my way up the backs of others on the Ladder-to-Success until I became StageManager....after that I will become an Empresario, retire to a country bunker and grow Germanimums and Arkellis-flowers<< ] The Comptroller, playing for time, foolishly asks a Dalek: "Who are you to condemn us to second place?"! Naturally he gets the usual earful in reply: >>WE.ARE.THA..DAAA.LEX!...WE.ARE.THE..SU.PREME.CO.MICSs..OF.THE..U.NI.VERRRRSE!!<< (It's all in the Timing y'know!) The Daleks want the Phunnyones to surrender their Humorous Stagecraft, their 'InDerisability-Shield' and all other Comic Inventions. The Comptroller objects to giving up their tricks, for without them: "...if we go on Stage, we'll Die!" The Dalek is, naturally, an unsympathetic audience. Speaking of which, the Dalek Show, whilst a Big Hit on Planet Phunny, is having a tough time with Their audience. The Phunnyones aren't buying the >>LAUGH!...LAUGH..OR.YOU.WILL.BE..EX.TER.MIN.ATED!!<< routine and the MeteorShower-Joke is a washout and bombing badly. The Comptroller points out to the Dalek that they "cannot slay them" and that the only ones 'laying in the isles' are corpses. It is revealed (dramatically of course) that the Phunny World was invented by Ray Bradbury and in true 'Farenheit451'-fashion the Phunnyones keep no written records (Actors, being what they are, typically keep lousy paperwork) nor recordings (Actors, not being technicians, etc...) and, being inordinately proud of their prodigious memorization-abilities, have "all that stuff" filed away in their noggins. The Dalek-StageManager is intrigued by this notion and experimentally drops the Comptroller on his head to see if his brain is full of filing cards. This, after all, is all one can do with Prominent Humanoids who start wibbling-on about "Honour and Dignity" in complete contravention of both original script and the Geneva Accords*. [* look for 'The Accords Of Geneva' a new Epic-Dalekronicle from AlteredEgopictures/McClumphantComix/ZegProduktions – available on all disreputable 'Despicable-DalekLovers' sites anytime then! ] Whilst the Dalex clean-up at the Box Office, the humiliated Phunny writing-team have quit Mainstream Comedy and gone Underground, never to be heard from again. A proper fate for those who cannot see the funny side* of Daleks – serves them right! [* which, for those who need to be told, is their Right side – the one with the Plunger... especially when it's lined up with the Gunstick so's it looks like the Plunger is firing DeathRays – hilarious! (to Dalex) ] |