Prog. 1: Impasse (23:40) 2: Cadet Sweet Cigarette Cards – Story One (cards 1-25) <bonus> (10:35) 3: Transmission from Skaro <b> (3:23) 4: The Dalek Stripper <b> (2:36)) Prog. 2 review: "Cadet Cards – One Sweet Story (First Pack – ciggies 1-25)" Original (apparently) Hartnell-Doctor Who in his younger, yet still white-haired days meets the Voords again* this time becoming their ally against the Daleks. [* previously shown in 'The Keys of marinus' (by Terry Nation) ] I have scans of these (courtesy of the Early-WhoMedia collectors/scanners at 'The Doctor's Talbot Samba' {formerly 'TheDoctorsReceptacle'} Yahoo-Group) and many of these images are lovely examples of 60s-style painted panel-art. As Stuart points out, the text for these is cursorily-scripted rough-outlines seemingly for a fuller text version of this story, possibly intended for a booklet like the SkyRay-Cards collection. (Is That one likely to be a future AV-production?) This first (of 2) sweetcigarette-card stories is (in)famous for introducing the concept of Daleks imbibing Mushroom-juice (with inevitable images of Tripped-out mutants in Deathmachines!*) [* Daleks On Mushrooms!?! Those deadly little scamps – whatever next? >>EX.PERI.MENT!<< / >>YOU.WILL. SMELL..THA.FLOU.WERS..IM.MEEDIATE.LY!<< / >>DAA.LEK..PEEEACE.AND.LOVE..WILL.CON.QUER.THA..U.NI.VERRRSE!<< / >>FAR-OUT.PSYCH.A.DELIC..DAA.LEX..ARE.HIP(less).AND.BUMPY..KA.LED!<< Cower in fear & confusion from Squads of drug-wrecked 'Dippies' in garish dayglo mind-exterminating colours Invading your head-space!! I now wonder about those Bright-Red-with-White-Bumps Daleks – not to forget the ever-desirable Gold(top)Daleks!!! (Don't eat the Black ones tho' – they're not Liquorice-flavoured, that's for sure.) ] And all that is Nothing compared to what you will see when they discover Flower Power! Nicely narrated by Stuart Palmer. Prog. 3 review: "Curmudgeon from Skaro" (apologies to Thals & Dalex) Featuring an elegantly-simple animation of Davros (complete with wiggly'chairwalk'movement!) building up to his usual Rant, but this time over AV's own D.C. productions. It was inevitable that Davros would eventually trundle-across these Dalek-propaganda stories about Their (>>DAV.ROS?...WHO'S..DAV.ROS?<<)non-D. origins and adventures. It was equally inevitable that he would be incensed by Either version, but it's the more'modern' AV-productions that cop it in this case. Honestly, he goes on about it so much, and in typically tedious Davros-detail, you'd think it was an Altered Vistas Promo! A clever bit of voice & character work by Stuart, there. (Plus the regrettable contribution of the unforgettable/ly mental-image of Davros "wee(ing) through the/ir letterbox"!) Prog. 4 review: "Deconstructed-Dalek Skit" (aka 'Dalek Throwaway') A bit of a "Phfwoarrr" for Daleks, but just silly to anyone else, this 'bit-teaser' has a prop-Dalek (it's got no working parts inside, so no DaletekSecret-giveaways here i'm afraid) progressively divesting itself (tossing its parts) of itself, to the tune of the Skarosian Global Anthem – a nicely subversive twist to the old Bumps&Grind-routine. What's left in the end is better left to the imagination so, naturally for AV, it's rendered in full (affrontal). (And I thought those Peter Gabriel/Aardman animated dancing plucked-chickens were Scary!) [CREEPYNESS-RATING: max!] Prog. 1 review: "Tin Asset" A bunch of Zeros (from the planet of the same name) are getting nervous about the impending Dalek/Mechonoid-stoush. Concerned that they might actually end up the most powerful civilization left in the Comicverse if the D's & the M's kablooey each other, the Zeros seek to avoid such Responsibility by making sure that One side actually wins. Their leader, Cwy, is limp enough to confess that "must debate in secret' he will from now on. The people however, are more alarmed to hear a small boy exclaim that "...the Clothes have no Emperor!" because they cannot see their Rulers any longer. (Although alien-translation being what it is these days* this might be a reference to some sort-of adjustment of scale.) [* ie, nonexistent ] Speaker Aww rises to the occasion, but his risible idea is derided by a cowardly poot called Wah. Undaunted by Wah's racist suggestion that their blue skin-colour would be prejudicial to Daleks or Mechonodes, Aww proceeds to propose that perhaps this problem turns, probably, the proverbial tables provided they produce their spy in the form of a Robot! (Well I could have told them that – we Robots are generically Superior at just about everything ... except being Alive of course.) Aww swings open the oven-door with a 'Chefly'gesture, saying: "... and here's one i prepared earlier", revealing Robot agent '3D'. Placed in a Space-toboggan, Agent '3D' slides off on its louche mission to slip sneakily into Skaro, skating around the Dalek Desert Patrol (to avoid the singing and overacting) its nerves cooled to ice by its refrigerator unit* as it snows the Daleks with its flakey moves. [* Kelvinator by the look of it ] Meanwhile, the Golden Emperor is entertaining the troops with a popular reperformance of his >>THE.ROGUE.PLAN.ET..WILL.DES.TROY.THA..MECH.A.NOIDZ<< speech just in time for '3D' to overhear it. So captivated by this performance is '3D' that it is unaware of being surrounded by Daleks (despite their loud off-key singing of selections from 'The Desert Song' and their Hoverbouts humming along with them aboard). Concerned for '3D's wellbeing, the Daleks politely advise it: >>MOVE ...*AND.YOU.WILL.BE..DES.TRAUGHT!<<. '3D' is mildly concerned by this. [* seemingly ordering the subject to do something before telling them Not to in the hope they will disobey-by-obeying – a typical Dalek jape ] Utilizing the awesome calculating-power of his stupendous 2K-ZerotronicBrainchip '3D' suddenly switches to Rocketeer-mode and zooms away. The two arresting Hoverbout-Daleks are so disgusted with themselves for falling for this obvious ploy that they execute each other. Other, more grounded Daleks go for the technological fix and operate the 'Magnetrap' – a device normally used for capturing magnets. They cunningly calculate by fiendish reasoning that by Reversing the Polarity of the Magnetronic-Flow* the device will be perfect for attracting Robots. (mmm, i zee vot zey meen!) [* curse you JonPertwee-Doc! ] Sure enough '3D' is 'fixated' on this machine and so eager to get-down with it that it falls headlong (and spinning*) hard, hitting bottom and penetrating to an underground silo (accompanied by humorously appropriate Jackhammer-fx). [* with wonder at all this Daleteknaaarlogy ] The silo is occupied by a Rocket that "...can fly faster than any(other?)spaceship"! (Oh yeah?! – and how does it know that!?) Firing the Rocket by use of the amazing strategy of destroying the ground-controls (something that not even Daleks would ever think of, which is probly why it worked!) '3D' escapes into space.* [* in one of the most "neato" Rocketship-designs seen anywhere short-of 'Dan Dare’ or the Trigan Empire ] The 'Controlroom-interior Dalek-action' hots up* as they plot, plan & posit what to do in this situation. As usual, Golden Emperor has a Cunning Calculation in plunger. ((>>THAT.IS..WHY..I.AM..EM.PER.OR..AND.YOU..ARE.NOT!<<)) They will use the missile as intended and be rid of '3D' into the bargain. [* it has lately dawned on me to consider those 3-tined "gunsticks"(Neutralizers) on these 'Turneroid' Daleks to be the cgi-animation equivalent of 3-finger 'Toon Characters' hands! (or did somebody already say that?) ] In the meantime the Rogue-RougeRed-Planette (remember 'Skardel'? – It must have had a good Agent, an entire Phunny planet didn't last as long as this thing!...probly coz itsa Prop an' don't draw Salary) will smash into Mechanus later on (as a <bonus> extra). But '3D's 2K-Processor is on the job with a scheme to turn the Warhead back on the Daleks (probly got the idea from the Magnetrap incident, which just goes to show you can't afford to be too clever and still let your foe get away with new ideas). Ah, but it doesn't end there! The Writer, clearly considerably "cleverer still" than Emperor, Mechanoids & Readers has a fiendish turn-of-the-plot in mind... Back on Skaro, a 'gab-fest' has broken out in the Dalek-Controlroom as they respond to the challenge by firing yet more missiles at the problem (Daleks having long ago worked-out that this was much more effective than using money). Meanwhilst, on Mechanus the Menoids, which have been responding as rapidly as they sedately can, finally arrive at '3D's landing-site to offer it Compulsory Accomodation & Locked-Roomservice in still-undertenanted Colonial City. '3D', being a most polite Robot – who says "Please" & "Thankyou" – diplomatically declines their offer by changing the subject entirely. Taking out its portable ultra-minaturized Super8mm-filmprojector '3D' shows them a home-movie it has made (using cardboard cutouts) which demonstrates how he has tricked the Daleks by getting them to fire on their own missile as it fails to give-way at the Hyperspace Bypass and collides at the intersection of Rogue Planet Way & Rocket-Trajectory Path. The Mechans, with typically audience-level intelligence, completely fail to understand '3D's point – instead presuming that those Skarosians must be nice neighbours after all and have helped take-out the Galactic Garbage without even being told to by the usual means of firing a CosmicDebris-obsessed InterstellarCouncil-official at them! At home on Zero, the Prime Zeros are having a fine time being pompous, officious & supercilious at each other, seeing as how they are in the rare situation of not actually being on view to the Voters (and the Parliament Questiontime Broadcast not due to start until after the 'The Daleks In An Exciting Adventure With The Mechanonoids' movie) and are enthusiastically arguing about how '3D's unexpected Plot Device has backfired. Instead of causing a clear victory for one Machine-Race to assume the tedious responsibility of Galactic Governance (conveniently locked into a one-party system) there is now a bi-partisan powerblock determined to outdo each other at the polls and liable to introduce all manner of disruptive "Reforms" and other Local World Council headaches. '3D' may have had one Rocket already, but when it gets home it's due for another! (Which is presumably why we never get to see '3D' again in this series either.) |